the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
