Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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