You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Randomize
