OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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