Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
