man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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