I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
