i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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