Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Randomize
