yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
