Quick, to the slutcave!
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
