I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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