Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
