Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
