you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Barsexuality is the new black.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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