i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
