I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
