they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
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