since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
