ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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