Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
