I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
