Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
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