can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
