So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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