idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
