Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
