Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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