I think my vagina is haunted
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
This baby is an asshole
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
