wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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