The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
