a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
