Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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