Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
