dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
