It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
