Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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