you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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