I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
