About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
