i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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