Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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