So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
