Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
