john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
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What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
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Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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