Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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