He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
