All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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