...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
