You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize
