wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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