I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
