Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
