i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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