i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
In other news, I just burned my penis
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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