Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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