Sacagawea was the original milf.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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