ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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