do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
