I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
