All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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