remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
ugly people sure do ruin things
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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