I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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